Pozyx Discovers Warehouse Workers Are Secretly Using Forklift Collision Avoidance System for Underground Jousting League

In a shocking revelation, Pozyx engineers have uncovered that their state-of-the-art forklift collision avoidance system has been secretly repurposed for after-hours competitive jousting tournaments in warehouses worldwide.

The “Unexpected” Discovery

Pozyx first became suspicious when collision alerts skyrocketed outside of normal working hours, with patterns that didn’t match any known logistics activity. Upon further investigation, engineers noticed forklifts engaging in highly coordinated, head-on approaches before rapidly swerving at the last second—a maneuver that looked less like workplace safety and more like medieval combat.

How It Works

It turns out that warehouse workers have discovered that Pozyx’s ultra-precise collision avoidance creates the perfect conditions for high-stakes forklift jousting. Using a combination of automated braking, AI-assisted evasion, and last-second course corrections, forklifts are able to charge at each other with full speed without actually colliding—creating the perfect adrenaline rush while (technically) staying safe.

The underground league has even introduced a scoring system, which appears to be based on:

• Closest near-miss without triggering emergency braking (High Risk, High Reward!)
• Most creative evasive maneuver detected by the system
• Successful “fake-outs” where an opponent panics and self-brakes early
• Longest jousting streak without triggering an actual collision report to management

The Global Underground Forklift League (G.U.F.L.)

Pozyx’s tracking data suggests that these "Jousting Leagues" are far more widespread than initially thought. Warehouses in Belgium, Germany, and the U.S. appear to have dedicated jousting circuits, and some even live-stream matches via private Slack channels.

One warehouse even implemented an unofficial ranking system based on Pozyx collision data, with employees competing for titles such as:

• "Grand Champion of the Forklift Knights"
• "The Untouchable Phantom" (for best evasive skills)
• "The Human Airbag" (for worst record in avoiding impacts)

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Pozyx Responds

When asked for comment, Pozyx engineers admitted they were “both horrified and deeply impressed” by the ingenuity of warehouse staff.

“We designed this system to prevent accidents, not enable extreme sports,” said one engineer. “But honestly, we’re looking at the logs, and… some of these moves are legendary.”

Pozyx is currently evaluating next steps, including whether to implement stricter detection measures or fully embrace the forklift jousting scene by adding official leaderboards.

What’s Next?

Rumors are circulating that employees are already beta-testing new events, including:

• “Forklift Drift Racing” using AI-assisted cornering
• “Last Fork Standing”—a battle royale where forklifts try to force each other into restricted areas
• “Blindfolded Forklift Tag” using Pozyx voice-assisted navigation only (HR has strongly discouraged this one)

For now, Pozyx urges all users to “please use the system responsibly”—though warehouse workers worldwide have interpreted this as a challenge.

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